I have some excellent news for all of you females who have been tortured by your boyfriend or husband playing endless hours of “Halo II,” “God of War,” or “SOCOM III,” now it’s time for vengeance! We may also play online and earn money to indulge ourselves after a fantastic game session.
Yes, even though I’m way too close to 30 for my good, I’ve been to Halo parties where several males of varying ages descend like ravenous fiends on one living room with their X-boxes and TVs in tow to immerse themselves in the world of blasting aliens to smithereens, eating endless bags of Doritos, and clogging up a living room with their zombie-like obsession until daybreak sends them retreating I’ve sat at the lunch table for weeks listening to a presumed adult, professional males debate the subtleties of “World of Warcraft.” My husband and I have discussed whether three hours is enough playing time and whether he can turn off “Outlaw Golf 2” long enough for me to watch TV. But now it’s time for us to take the initiative and turn the tables! And I’ve got the perfect game for it: “Tomb Raider: Legend!”
No, no, I’m not insane, ladies. Listen to me out! Tomb Raider isn’t just for prepubescent males who are fascinated with T&A (physically or emotionally); this game is fantastic! I used to be perplexed as to how those boys could spend so much time with their hands stuck to controllers and their eyes riveted to a bright screen, but now I see. Allow me to explain why this game is fantastic and ideal for women who aren’t necessarily gamers.
Lara Croft is a character from the video game Lara Croft. She’s not simply a curvy babe; she’s the strong, seductive woman that many of us secretly aspire to be. She’s wealthy, brilliant, and capable of scaling jagged cliffs without the aid of climbing gear, solving any complex problem, having a response for any difficult circumstance, refusing to take no for an answer, and kicking bad-guy butt and looking wicked sexy while doing so! Who doesn’t aspire to be that young lady?
You don’t need a Ph.D. in Videogameology to play the controls. This is crucial. I’ve seen many games that look fun that the lads play, but I’m done when you have to master 30 different 7-stroke button combos to beat level one. I don’t have time to play video games for 20 hours a day. I want to be able to pick it up, play for a few minutes, make some progress, then return the next day. I’m out if it’s going to take me 30 hours to learn the basics. Ladies, do you agree with me? That’s what makes Tomb Raider so appealing! The controls are straightforward, and the games are designed to teach you the various actions required to play gradually. One button equals one movement. At most, two buttons equal one activity. That’s something I like about video games.
The real genius of the Tomb Raider franchise is this. 3) The game itself. Yes, Lara Croft has twin handguns with which she dispatches her foes, but this isn’t a fighting game. It’s a fun puzzle game with a little fighting thrown in for good measure. We women, on the other hand, enjoy a mental challenge. We’ll become bored with mindless blasting relatively fast, but offer us some riddles to solve, and we’ll be fascinated for hours. It’s even more interesting to play along with these riddles because they’re set in exotic settings and intriguing tombs.
Tomb Raider Legend is the seventh installment in the Tomb Raider series, which began in 1996. This game series has a ten-year history and is for a good cause! So, ladies, if you’ve never played with a game controller before, you should! You might find it an enjoyable and fascinating way to pass the time (and get rid of some rage!)
Those of you who have previously enjoyed Tomb Raider should get this new game as soon as possible! I understand that some of you were dissatisfied with the previous installment, “Angel of Darkness,” but trust me when I say that you will adore “Legend.” She’s back in the tombs, not fleeing from the Paris cops who are wrongfully accusing her of murder. Lara’s bag now has some wicked new tricks, thanks to the designers! I’m not going to reveal too many details. Still, she has a Matrix-style technique that allows her to backflip off an enemy’s head, temporarily pausing time and allowing her to discharge her weapons on his sorry butt! The nice aspect is that this maneuver is simple to execute. Let’s face it if I can do it, so can you!
Now is the time, ladies, to reclaim our living rooms! Gaming consoles aren’t just for guys and boys. Get a copy of “Tomb Raider: Legend” and show your man how much fun it is to sit back and watch someone else play for a change!